My previous post, How to make a blogger notice you had some really good comments that I learned from. And it sparked off a few thoughts.
Success is about attitude, not about technique.
Which is why reading a bunch of business books will not make you a great business man, but adopting the correct attitude might.
This applies to the world of online marketing and even blogging. It took me years to understand how to be a successful blogger. I thought it was all about the tricks and the shortcuts. I realised that blogging is about talking, about conversation. It’s about developing a way to speak in your own voice. Sure there are lots of technical things you need to learn like RSS, trackbacks, headline writing etc. But all those can be learned. If you have not developed the right attitude, the right posture. All the techniques in the world will not help.
It’s the same with networking. If you think you simply need to read a few posts, learn where to go, what auto friending software to use, then your motives will be obvious and you will not be offering anything of worth.
Adopting the right attitude makes it so easy. You end up not having to think about only doing things that turn to your advantage. You do things because it is part of who you are and this is how you will be perceived.
A martial arts expert will tell you it’s not about the punch, it’s about how your whole body and mind deliver the punch.
I don’t think online networking can be faked, I see it all the time in people who are success. They show signs of
- Generosity
- Passion
- Helpfulness
- Humility
- Modesty
- Curiosity
- Focus
This is not a step by step guide on “how to network online”, rather I see it as a checkmark to see if someone has the right attitude. There are a number of people I could list, you probably know the people I speak of.
These are not things you can adopt like putting on a pair of socks. They only come when you have the right attitude.
So how do you adopt the right attitude?
I know, but I don’t know how to explain it, when I do I will write part two.
But first, I need a Hobnob.
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Well said, and well put – plain and simple…
As I’ve told a few friends before at SES conferences – don’t go to talk logistics to someone at the bar… go to make friends (know who to hobnob with) and have a good time with them… Then*** when your back at your desk and you have a question you can’t answer, you have a high ranking friend that can… and now they are a “friend” that can give you some advice… rather than someone your bothering for free information ;)
So anyone reading this post… that means buy me drinks when you see me at the next SES :D
JK – well not really…
DB
Good observations. I think you’re spot on. A dash of confidence doesn’t go astray either, but the characteristics you’ve listed are very important. The surprising thing to me in my short blogging adventure is the number of people I’ve come across who exhibit all or most of these attributes.
Every time I come here, I remember my friends in Cornwall and my visit there and wish I knew you then. . . .
One blogger friend who comments on my blogger always brings it down to be interested and interesting .
I would say be about THEM not about you . . . which your list shows beautifully.
some good advice here! the similarity to Bob Cialdinis Influence Science and practice is uncanny
Hey sweet post man! You’re right about that! Most people alway think about what they can get out of it instead of thinking what they can put into it :-)
@Stephan, confidence is useful. Although how do we get confidence in our area? We spend time in it, we emmerse ourselves in the subject matter. The problem with a lot of bloggers, including myself is we try to blog in areas we know nothing about.
@Liz, next time you’re down, I’ll take you for a cream tea ;)
@Reasonable, never heard of Bob Cialdinis, but will check him out. I think this stuff is pretty universal and common sense so it’s probably in a lot of books.
A lot of successful bloggers in the marketing space are also successful marketers. Why?
Winning friends is a lot like winning customers. You have to be all about them. How can you help them? And don’t make anyone think that you are out to get something from them.
If people feel liked, rather than used, you will find it a lot easier to build those relationships.
And like anything else, listen. Be genuinely interested in someone before you try to make their acquaintance. You can’t fake interest, or at least not for long. And people love to talk about themselves, but only if someone is listening.
I suppose I’m trying to say that becoming a success online is exactly like it is offline. I suppose the only difference is you really need to be good at communicating with the written word. I don’t think there are any secrets here, although for some of us computer geeks, there may be some social skills we could practice ;)
Very good post, Lyndon – I have been thinking about this quite a bit recently as I can just smell the attitudes of some and it can get a bit demoralising. But meeting the cool ones make it all worthwhile in the end.
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