19 reasons not to read my SEO blog
Lets be honest. There are a number of reasons you shouldn’t be reading this.
1. I can’t spell for shit.
2. I use a lot of English slang which people over in the colonies, who had a hissy fit at paying a few taxes so they threw their tea in the water and went from George Washington to George Bush, can’t understand me.
3. I’ve started swearing on my blog. I think it’s both amusing and clever.
4. I’m not really an SEO, just some guy who likes to lounge around in his underwear watching day time TV rather than work in an office with a pot plant. I find if you just talk about how important H1 tags are no one will notice.
5. I’ve read books, most SEO’s have never read a book and consider it strange.
6. If I wasn’t making money online I’d be a night shift security guard at a regional museum.
7. I think Jason Calacanis is Cool.
8. I’ve never been to an SEO conference.
9. I think most people who use the Internet for longer than 8 hours are weird. Except me, I’m extra normal.
10. I think the SEO industry is way too white.
11. I think SEO is easy, but mostly repetitive and boring. After ten years of honing my craft I don’t find it difficult at all.
12. I use Wikipedia a lot and even link to it.
13 I use Alexa constantly and love the spikes in my traffic.
14. I think the little green bar is cool, and if I ever go to PR 6 will throw a party in it’s honour.
15. I always fast forward the Webmaster Radio commercials.
16. I once disagreed with Danny Sullivan.
17. You could be spending time with a beautiful woman, or man, or two women under a moonlit sky, by the beach, sipping drinks garnished with umbrellas. Why do they do that? The umbrella? What’s the purpose? I mean, I realise that a stick with a cherry on the end is not simply a garnish, you get to eat it. But an umbrella?
Or is it a parasol? They look like parasols to me, you know, to keep the sun off. I’ve never seen anyone use a life sized parasol.
18. I tend to go off on tangents and get distracted.
19. I still don’t know what latent semantic indexing is.